


Side Effects Are Strange

by ang3lba3



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, F/F, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Home Invasion Roleplay, Meteor Gal Pals Post Sburb, Multi, Polyamory, Pregnancy, Red Romance, Sloppy Interspecies, mention of past sex-related injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 03:54:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11394825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ang3lba3/pseuds/ang3lba3
Summary: Rose has a problem, and her wife can't fix it... kismesises to the rescue!





	Side Effects Are Strange

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theskyshouldbeviolet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskyshouldbeviolet/gifts).



“Kanaya. Kanaya. _Kanaya.”_

“Yes, Rose?” Kanaya asks, flipping the page of her Better Homes and Gardens magazine. There’s a diet regime listed. It seems to be encouraging eating solely fiber. She flips the page.

“Fuck me,” Rose whines, and pokes at Kanaya’s arm. Ever since she's started the fertility medicine necessary to keep up an adequate pregnancy with her implanted womb, she's been insatiable.

“I don’t wish to be crass, but as your brother would say, ‘my dick can only get hard so often karkles back the fuck off’.”

“Oh my God.” Rose covers her face, chubby fingers hiding her eyes from the world as she rolls onto her back. “I can’t believe you just brought Dave into this. I can’t believe that didn’t kill my libido.”

Kanaya reaches over and pats blindly at Rose. She’s pretty sure it’s her breast. “There, there. The baby will come out in four months and then your vagina will be inoperational for quite some time, and thus sated.”

“That was disgusting. You’re disgusting.” Rose removes the magazine from Kanaya’s hands and crawls into her wife’s lap. The sturdy weight of her presses down comfortingly, and unfortunately not erotically, onto Kanaya. “You should fuck me.”

Kanaya runs her hands up and down her wife’s waist. The truth is, she just isn’t feeling it. She doesn’t have it in her to touch Rose gently, to make love. She wants to bite and fuck and press her teeth down until she tastes blood. She wants _Vriska_.

“Oh,” she says, with mild surprise.

“What? That’s an aha moment, I know it is!” Rose says, and points at Kanaya’s face.

“I think there’s someone who could help us out with this. Two someones, in fact.”

“Oh,” Rose says, and her face does an aha moment of her own. “I see what you mean. That was a funny little miracle in my heart that just happened.”

“Stow your human sarcasm,” Kanaya says, rolling her eyes and wiggling a hand past Rose to her pocket. She reaches her phone and wiggles it and her hand back out from under Rose’s ass. Rose pays sharp attention to all the proceedings.

Kanaya presses speed dial 8, and puts the phone on speaker.

“We have a pressing matter that only you can attend to,” Kanaya says as soon as Vriska picks up the phone. Appealing to her ego is the fastest way to make her do anything.

“Your bulge, that is,” Rose adds helpfully.

“Um—” Vriska starts.

“In my vagina. And possibly my mouth. Get your ass over here, Serket, and bring your hotter girlfriend.” Rose presses end on the call, and when it rings again puts the phone on silent.

“Sloppy interspecies makeouts time?” she asks hopefully.

Kanaya laughs, and nods her head. “Let’s unlock the front door first, so that they can come in.”

“Oh, that’s not a problem, I gave Terezi a key when you were away at that fashion convention. Home invasion roleplay. Also, she’ll probably be limping slightly.”

“Um,” Kanaya starts.

Rose presses her lips to her wife’s. “Sloppy interspecies makeouts,” she breathes against Kanaya’s mouth.

Kanaya laughs, and kisses back.

 

***

 

“What’s that smell on your face?” Terezi asks, with unbridled delight and suspicion. She sniffs way close into Vriska’s business, and Vriska would tell her to back off but she’s still partially in shock at Rose’s uncharacteristically blunt demand. “Smells… like Lalonde called me the hotter girlfriend again.”

“Fuck off,” Vriska says, pushing Terezi’s face away as she cackles. “You can just say you heard the call like a normal fucking person, Pyrope.”

“I hear nothing but I know all!” Terezi says dramatically, striking a pose like she’s a dumb superhero. She’s wearing a pair of Dave’s boxers and Vriska’s shirt. Both hang off of her in unflattering lines. She still looks better than Meowbeastwoman or Supertroll ever did.

“Yeah, whatever,” Vriska says, and heads to pull on clothes. She’s also wearing Dave’s underwear (look, what a girl steals from her neighbors is her own goddamn business) and one of Terezi’s shirts. Neither of them are decent on her, and cling and roll up.

“Wanna discuss logistics, or are we just going to have a really long series of conversations while fucking about whose bulge goes in whose human vagina?” Terezi asks as she pulls on a pair of shorts. She doesn’t take off the boxers, and they bunch obviously and ridiculously under the denim before falling out a good two inches below the cuff.

“Jesus, you’re a mess,” Vriska says, trying to hide the pity-struck look on her face. “You’re gonna give Rose a heart attack if you show up wearing her brother’s underwear.”

Terezi grins, and slips into her crocs. She’s fully dressed—if you can call it that—and Vriska is still trying to pick a pair of pants. Terezi grabs a skirt from the closet and throws it in her face. It’s one that Kanaya had given her, scratchy and uncomfortable, and fuck yes she was going to rub that fabric all over Kanaya’s bare ass _and_ _see how she likes it._

Vriska pulls on the skirt and a hoodie, zipping it up halfway because she likes the way her rumblespheres looked in Terezi’s shirt too much to cover them completely. Terezi tastes the air and then smirks at her like she knows, and Vriska slams her against the wall to lick her face.

“Miss Serket, I do declare!” Terezi says, cackling as she shoved Vriska away.

“I need to get you the fuck away from Strider, you’re picking up his dumb human ironic speech patterns.”

“So take me the fuck to Rose and Kanaya’s place then.”

Vriska snorts, and heads towards the front door, Terezi following behind with a smug, sharp smile.

“Wait, wait a second, I gotta do something first,” Terezi says once they leave the house, and darts toward Karkat and Dave’s house. She bangs on their bedroom window, as is the Scourge Sister custom, and yelled, “I’m about to engage in sloppy interspecies sex! With your SISTER!”

Then she darts away, latching on to Vriska and hissing at her to _fly fly flY YOU GODDAMN NERD._ Vriska flies, and they leave to the sound of Strider and Vantas yelling simultaneously for Terezi to fuck off.

 

***

 

“Unusually satisfying job,” Rose says later, lying flat on her back, clearly winded and fucked out.

Terezi is always punchdrunk loose after sex, but makes the effort to blow a raspberry directly into the side of Rose’s neck. “You’re always satisfied with my methods. Last time you came so hard you dislocated my hip.”

“Doesn’t look like you tried hard enough this time then, huh?”

“Oh my god can you two morons shut up, I’m trying to enjoy the afterglow,” Vriska says. Kanaya snores happily into Vriska’s back.

“I hate all of you,” Vriska mutters, and Terezi cackles.

“You love me and you know it, Serket! I can smell the deceit all over your pretty blueberry words!”

“I agree with Vriska, however,” Rose says with a yawn that managed to be slightly more sophisticated than kanaya’s snore. Mostly by virtue of covering her mouth. “Let’s all be quiet for a little bit, and enjoy the wet spot.”

“It’s not a spot if the entire BED is the wet bit, Lalonde,” Vriska says, but wraps her fingers in Terezi’s, and closes her eyes.

“It’s a wonderful assault on my senses is what it is, and I’m taking you all to court for it as soon as I finish my nap,” Terezi says, but her usual spunk is broken up by her mumbling it rather than crowing it.

“Sleep,” Rose mumbles, and miracle of all miracles—

They do.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you like this! This is one of my favorite pairings as well :)


End file.
